Quitting Smoking

BP Impact = 5
Transformational Impact = 10

I gave the BP impact rating for this a 5 because as “obvious” as it seemed to me that smoking was a big contributor to my high blood pressure, after doing a little research, it isn’t all that cut and dry.
Smoking IS a proven risk factor for heart attack and stroke (which can also occur with prolonged high blood pressure), but its connection to high blood pressure is, believe it or not, still being determined. Smoking does increase the risk for buildup of plaque inside the arteries, and high blood pressure accelerates this process.

Perhaps because nicotine is a stimulant I just assumed that it was a contributor to my high blood pressure. But caffeine is also a stimulant, and I never gave even a thought to giving up my morning coffee. Turns out that your blood pressure (and heart rate) does temporarily go up when you smoke, just as it temporarily goes up with your morning cup of coffee. But let’s face it, anyone who’s attended an elementary or middle school science or health fair has seen lots of drawings of dead skeletons holding a cigarette, not a cup of coffee. The message has been clear, from all directions: Smoking is bad for you.
And in my case, this translated to, therefore, if I smoke, I must be a major loser – which leads to my 10 rating for Transformational Impact………….

I know, believe me I KNOW how hard it is to quit smoking. I’ve tried and failed a million times. There was once upon a time that I had actually quit for 3 years. But, I got stressed out at work one day, bummed a smoke, and walked away without wanting more. Until I did it again, and again, and more frequently, and pretty soon cigarettes were my new stress management tool and there I was, hooked again.

How did I let this happen? I asked myself.

The easiest “quit” I ever did was the scare that was put into me that day at the dentist’s office. Perhaps reading the words “hypertensive emergency” from a Google search conjured up just enough death images for it to work for me this time.

With knees shaking, heart pounding, praying….BEGGING…. that I could have a chance to correct my blood pressure before it killed me, I just decided right then and there that I was done with cigarettes forever. I don’t know what the future holds but if there’s anything I do know, it’s that the cocky ones who ride high on the horse are the ones who get blind sided by a low hanging tree branch. So, with that said, I will say that I’ve not smoked in nearly 4 years, and today, I don’t have the slightest hankerin’ for a smoke. That’s a gift. And each day I express my gratitude for that gift. May it remain……..

The reason I gave the transformational impact on quitting smoking a 10 are many……

There are the obvious health reasons, we all know about them. But quitting smoking did something to my…. what….. my psyche, my spirit, my inner voice, the wise old woman in me…. whatever you want to call it, it freed me from all the voices of condemnation (at least related to smoking) in my head.

You smokers out there know what I’m talking about:
>The lying in bed in the quiet of night, hearing the wheezes and crackles coming out of my throat with every breath.

>The huffin and puffin – heart pounding – just from walking up the stairs at work.
The daily self judgment; cigarette in mouth, lighter approaching the end of my cigarette, the “don’t do it” voices fighting with the “today is my last day, I’ll quit tomorrow” ones.

>The “polite distance” (or even holding of the breath, ha ha) that non-smokers keep when you walk in from a smoke break; I can’t smell anything, surely no one else smells it.

>The money! I could be down to $10 bucks left in my account with 2 days to go until payday, but you can bet that I’m spending $5 of it on a pack of smokes. If you do quit smoking, stash the money you would have spent on smokes and take yourself on a nice vacation. Either that, or just be glad that you’re less likely to be down to $10 bucks with 2 days left until pay day….

So, we all know that quitting is hard. Should you quit smoking if you have high blood pressure? Yes.

Should you quit smoking if you don’t have high blood pressure? Yes.

But there’s a message that I want to get out here……..

We are told to quit smoking because it’s bad for our health, which it is. We are also bombarded with messages every single day that can’t help but eventually lead us to equate our status as an active smoker as someone who is “other”, or “less than”.

I’m here right now to call BS on all of that. Whether you smoke or don’t smoke; it has NO bearing on your worth as a human being.

For me, after I quit, every time I saw someone smoking I wasn’t filled with judgment or disgust. I felt compassion; knowing how deep the claws of the addiction to smoking dig in.

And I felt gratitude……. that I was finally out from under the burden of carrying that cruel and relentless dictator on my back.

In reflection, I’m forever grateful that I’m free from the bonds of addiction to cigarettes, but I do wish that while I was a smoker that I would have done it a little different. I wish I would have never “judged” myself for smoking. I wish I’d had enough self love and non self judgment to have fully embraced and accepted my status as a smoker. In so doing, I would have just naturally quit (or never started?), for that would have been the kind and loving thing to do for myself.

If you’re a smoker, chances are you do at least a little self-judging; how could you not with all the messages about smoking that are out there?

It’s been said that grace isn’t just the acceptance of someone the way they are. Grace requires participation; grace is the acceptance of being accepted. When this happens, it opens the door for people to actually change, because they want to, not because the feel like they have to.

So, if you’ve been able to quit smoking, congrats. Be kind to those who aren’t there yet. If you haven’t been able to quit, or perhaps have no desire or intention to quit, just hear this: the universe cherishes your existence.